A New Camper's Field Guide to Rooster Teeth's Camp Camp
Memorable Flower Scout Quotes:
"I need to find a labrador to cure them."
"Crank it to high! I can take the Gs!"
"What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"Gwen, David, what happens when you die?"
"Hey David, when will I get my period?"
"What is a hanukkah?"
"Times have changed. Whether I like it or not. The campers don't care, Gwen doesn't care, even the founder of this place has better things to do. That's why I'll never stop trying. Because somebody fucking has to."
"Gosh darn it, you're right Gwen! Today's the day I get hard!"
Name: Nerris the Cute
Role: Quest leader
Voice Actor: Barbara Dunkelman
Loves: Magic, LARPing, and quests
Hates: fake magic
Camp: Other Magic
"I made a vow... to show others the glory of the Wood Scouts. And I told you... TO CALL ME SNAKE."
"Impossible. Nothing could have survived a candy cane to the jugular."
Role: Camp Counselor
Voice Actor: Miles Luna
Loves: Camp Campbell, Singing, Optimism, Camping
Role: Agent of Chaos
Voice Actor: Elizabeth Maxwell
Loves: Adventuring, Cross-species communication
Hates: Everything Flowerscout-ish
Role: Resident Trouble Maker
Voice Actor: Michael Jones
Hates: Everything (especially David)
Memorable Neil Quotes:
Memorable Ered Quotes:
"Oh, it seems I have freaked my own mind."
"Oooh, I found a jigsaw puzzle...that only has corner pieces...what?"
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all! Getting a cynical, close-minded asshole to believe in magic!"
"Aww... that one hurt. But my mom says I'll grow into my looks!"
"Big deal, so you threw a bunch of dice at some animals. Kind of a dick move, to be honest."
"What's the matter, Neil? Did I freak your mind?"
Role: Mind Freaker
Voice Actor: Yotam Perel
Hates: fake magic
It has resurfaced.
It's with the girl...the girl's mind is filthy.
[mumbling] jews [mumbling]
Too late, it has the taste for flesh now.
I have given you nothing to revere. I will betray you all when the opportunity arises.
You goddamn bitch, I told you to stay the hell away from me.
I'll kill you this time, whore! I don't miss twice!
Imma win that tontine, tell ya what.
Name (from left to right): Tabii, Sasha and Erin
Role: Flower Scouts
Voice Actor: Samantha Ireland
Loves: Stereotypical girl things
Hates: Unstereotypical girl things
Names (from left to right): Billy "Snake" Nikssilp, Stephen van Petrol, and Edward Pikeman
Role: Wood Scouts
Snake - Dante Basco
Edward Pikeman: Kirk Johnson
Loves: rank and order
Camp Camp Season 4 Premieres June 1, 2019
2. Camp Map
"Well, friends, as the children of divorced parents often say...TWO CHRISTMASES!"
"Quiet you dullard! He's using dramatic pause!"
"You vile creature! One can never get soda off blue suede!"
"I don't know who this bitch is, but she is killing it!"
"The theater! The cruelest mistress of all! Like the mistakes of so many teenage girls, has been aborted."
13. Space Kid
Name: Cameron Campbell
Role: Founder of Camp Campbell
Voice Actor: Travis Willingham
Loves: Money, Gambling, and International Affairs
Hates: Government regulation, the internet, video games, the affordable care act, and super Guantanamo
15. Quarter Master
17. Flower Scouts
You found Scotty!
Role: Comedian / Clown
Camp: Visual Comedy
You can catch him in "David Get's Hard"
"Oh yeah, smell that nature! Oh, that's the stuff."
"Sorry about that hand, by the way. Just exerting dominance, you know how it goes."
"I’m an agent of chaos."
"I only bit one kid!"
"We will never conform to the man!"
"Camp Camp tells the story of Max, a jaded ten year old, who finds himself stuck at a dysfunctional summer camp run by a shady business mogul who is looking to turn a profit any way he can. The cynical Max will have to survive annoyingly cheerful counselor David, the weird cast of campers, and bizarre surprises at every turn before he can escape for home." - Rooster Teeth Website
"Man, this cold is spreading faster than your mom's legs on parent's day"
"Hey man, Jesus forgives or some shit"
"Normally, I would love to give you shit about your flag boner, but I'm in the middle of something."
"You are the bane of my existence"
"Welcome to camp, asshole."
"Well. I guess it turns out at the end of the day, sometimes you just gotta hit kids."
"So you see mom, sometimes words cut deeper than knives."
"Rules?! Let's burn this fucker down."
"Oh, so we're doing the whole Freudian thing now? Everyone wants to fuck their own mom. Get over it!"
"Look at her! She's suddenly terrified of her own mortality. Just like I was during my recent mid-life crisis. What was I thinking? This sports car was never gonna make me happy."
Suck a dick
Memorable Dolph Quotes:
Memorable Neris Quotes:
"Oh god, it’s coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret."
"What have you done?! Do you realize how much paperwork I have to do for a dead camper?!"
"David, I'm starting to think that entrusting our financial problems to a bunch of children may not have been the best idea."
"I don't care! My days off are writing fan fiction and masturrrring the fine arts."
"Oh, we should totally do a background check on these freaks! They've probably got loads of illegitimate children."
Name: Dolph Houston
Role: temporary counselor, candy smuggler
Voice Actor: James Willems
Loves: Art, facist militant peons
Hates: Mixing colors
Name: Meredith "Ered" Miller
Role: Cool Kid
Voice Actor: Jen Brown
Loves: Anything cool
Hates: Everything uncool
Camp: Extreme Sports
"Pussies for life."
"EVERYONE can be cool at Camp Cool Kidz!"
"It's cool guys. It just means my crutches have extra personality."
"Please don't say quest."
"You guys got it all wrong anyway. It doesn't take a perceptioning check to know that Nerris was always the coolest camper here."
"Everyone knows parties are just the pre-parties for the after-parties."
"Woah. WOAH. chill out, duuude. Sounds like your way overthinking everything. You gotta learn to turn off that brain of yours and just go with the flow."
Memorable Harrison Quotes:
Memorable David Quotes:
Role: Scientist and undercover Flower Scout
Voice Actor: Yuri Lowenthal
Loves: Math, Physics, Computer Science, Chemistry, Biology, and Erin
Hates: the un-air-conditioned wilderness.
"As long as I'm cute and beautiful, people should give me what I want!"
"Literally, what the fuck just happened?"
"Tabii, seriously. WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Do you really wanna fuck with these bitches?! "
"He called us cunts last time he saw us."
"I'm Tabii with two I's!"
"He can pee in me anytime."
"Ew, Mexico? They should just build a wall around that place already."
Name: Neil "Space Kid" Armstrong
Voice Actor: Lindsay Jones
Hates: the Soviet space program
"You wanna make money? Then invest in Neilbux!"
"Welcome to networking Snake"
"Everyone knows Game of Thrones is totally based on the hanukkah story"
"Y'all are some ignorant fucking cunts."
"You shut your whore mouth, Harrison!"
"I would just like to point out the fucked up implications of specifically you putting specifically me into a gas chamber."
"Holy fucking parents!"
Memorable Gwen Quotes:
Memorable Cameron Campbell Quotes:
Curse Count (between all three):
"So if you or someone you know is still an avid climate change denier….literally, what the fuck is wrong with you. You don't even have to go to a library. Just Google evidence supporting climate change and learn something for Christ's sake. Oh, and vaccinate your kids while you're at it. Fuckin morons."
"Ok, well that's enough closure for one fucking day. I'm gonna go try not to think about how my entire worldview has been shattered."
Name: Preston Goodplay
Voice Actor: Georden Whiteman
Loves: the fine arts
Hates: those who lack passion
Memorable Space Kid Quotes:
"Under my rule, I VILL MAKE CAMP CAMPBELL GREAT AGAIN!"
"Oh, this is no gas chamber"
"Ze attic, of course, amongst the juice! So crafty."
Memorable Nurf Quotes:
Memorable Max Quotes:
Voice Actor: Lee Eddy
Loves: the Kardashians, reality-drama, and liberal arts degrees
Hates: all the shit Max makes her go through
Memorable Nikki Quotes:
"Anyone else want a 20-sided ass kicking?"
"My DM says if you fail, you still get experience. Or he used to, before he said he wasn't allowed to talk to minors anymore. Which, was really confusing. I don't know what the coal industry has to do with any of it."
"I need you to make sure every single snot-nosed kid out there shows off whatever it is their parents signed them up for. It's either that or I'm heading to super Guantanamo. "
"You take good care of those stupid kids, David. And Campe Diem."
Name: Gaylord "Nurf" Nurfington
Role: Camp Bully
Voice Actor: Blaine Gibson
Loves: Physical violence, self-reflection
Hates: Love and peace
Camp: Behavioral Correction
Memorable Wood Scout Quotes:
Memorable Quarter Master Quotes:
Binge watch seasons 1 to 3 to get ready.
1. What is Camp Camp?
Role: Squirrel King and Groundskeeper
Voice Actor: Shannon McCormick
Loves: old people sex parties, his sister, and making mashed potatos
Hates: kids, his sister, and jews(?)
Memorable Preston Quotes:
16. Cameron Campbell
18. Wood Scouts