Looking back, I was extremely lucky compared to many others. Studying at an all-girls school, the menstrual cycle was drilled into us so it became a comfortable subject to talk about. There was something weirdly thrilling about anticipating who would be next to start their periods. Friends would come into school, bursting with excitement, recalling how their mums wept that they’d finally gone through that biological change.
I lagged behind, waiting month after month for my period. Then one day, it finally arrived. Even though school was constantly preparing us for that moment with military efficiency, when it actually happened all the training left me.
I was in utter confusion to find blood in my pants, and I remember being genuinely scared about where it was coming from. Reluctantly I approached my mum to ask what was wrong with me. “You’re not bleeding from your bum, it’s your period!” she told me. I looked back at her, anticipating her reaction, waiting for her to shed tears like my friends’ mums had done. But they didn’t come. Instead I got a reassuring smile, a comforting hug and a mini-tutorial on how to apply a pad. I was furious that I didn’t get that ‘coming of age’ party - had I kept her waiting too long?
Looking back now, it never really crossed my mind that she might have felt uncomfortable talking about it. Or maybe it was actually the most perfect way for my mum to handle the situation - calmly and informatively. There is no right or wrong answer, but as we edge closer to the start of a new school year, here are some of the key challenges to tackle head on when it comes to periods.
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Physical changes like starting periods are an obvious sign that the child you've raised and nurtured is growing up fast. One of the issues about approaching the period chat is that it goes hand in hand with the sex education conversation parents may feel uncomfortable to give, and uncomfortable for children to hear.
But research shows 55%* of young people with periods learn the most about them from their mums. This is an essential time to set a precedent that they can ask you anything without judgement. No question is too silly. You can have an open dialogue with your child about their boundaries, alongside staying safe and healthy.
Language is also super important. Using terms like ‘Aunt Flow’ or ‘Time of the Month’ can imply there’s something to be embarrassed about, so avoid old-fashioned phrases and call it what it is - a period! While we’re at it, the same goes for body language.
Be proud when you go to the shop to buy your Always products, and show your child it’s not something that needs to be hidden away.
1. Starting that initial conversation
2. When is the best time to talk?
With the end of the summer in sight, it may be best to start preparing your child so that they can feel confident about periods before going back to school. One in three youngsters* say they don’t feel prepared for their first period, and the NHS suggests that the average person starts their period at the age of 12.
I’ve been really struggling to think back to my first couple of periods. I even had to be reminded by my mum that I was 13 when it happened. All I remember was worrying that the bleeding was coming from my bottom, and being hugely relieved when Mum explained it was my period starting.
There’s no shame that it may be time to re-educate yourself. Make sure you have an understanding of what's normal for the first couple of periods and what isn’t, so if need be you can seek advice from a medical professional.
Figures show that men aged between 18 and 46 find it the hardest to talk about periods. If you’ve never experienced one, it’s understandable why it can be slightly confusing. But ignoring the fact a young person is having a period, or making jokes about it isn’t going to make it better.
Two in five* say they’ve been teased about their menstrual cycle. I had it when I was younger – to be frank I’ve had it as an adult too. I’m sure countless women can recall a time they’ve had a stereotypical comment about why they may appear emotional. Now with maturity on my side, I like to think my period brings me power. So everyone should know how important it is to be supportive about periods.
3. Getting everyone in the family on side
Every person comes in a different shape and size. The same goes for periods. It’s impossible to tell how light or how heavy the flow will be when the first one arrives, which makes it all the more important to be well prepared. The amount of bleeding can change throughout life, and even those with periods know that one can start unexpectedly, in the most unhelpful of times, day or night. That’s why it’s important to be prepared for all eventualities.
There’s a reason Always is the number one period pad in the UK*. Their Ultra range offers 3x extra protection with InstantDry technology, LeakGuard Protection and OdourLock to help keep you feel confident and protected.
Always Ultra also comes in five different sizes so you are covered day and night, no matter what your flow. For the daytime, pads have interlocking wings, which lock into place to ensure it stays put whatever the activity, from a double science class, to a long afternoon of PE! And for night time, pads have a longer and wider back (vs. Always Ultra Size 1) to protect you whilst lying down, offering up to 12 hours of leakage protection – so for extra snoozy teenagers, it’s the perfect product!
If you and your child need some more help deciding on the best option, Always offers a quiz to find your fit.
Marie Claire has teamed up with Always to help parents feel fearless when talking about first periods with their kids. For more information, visit Always.co.uk
4. Always be period prepared
Words: fern buckley ILLUSTRATIONS: ANA JAKS
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The arrival of a period can be scary if you’re unprepared. Both as a young person and a parent. And no matter how ready you or your child may be for that moment, it can completely catch you off guard. If you’re feeling that way, don’t panic, you’re not alone!
Studies* have shown that a third of parents feel awkward talking to their kids about the menstrual cycle, and - get this - more of us would actually rather have an open conversation about politics, of all things. Although times have changed and it appears that it’s becoming more socially acceptable to chat candidly about periods, it can still be a massively sensitive subject, but it shouldn’t be!
Girls and younger women are rising against period shame, leading the charge towards normalising language and communication around the menstrual cycle. We need to build on this momentum and make important changes for the younger generations to come.
A new study found
“Up until now, figures suggest* that
85% of young people have tried to hide the fact they’re on their period, with fear, embarrassment and confusion the top
three emotions felt when going through
the experience”
*Research from a 5-year study, It's Time To Talk, conducted by Always.
*(IRI Value & Volume Sales Data 52w/e 23rd Mar’23)
parents* feel awkward talking
to their kids about periods. Here
we break down how to make those
one in three
vital conversations
easier
for everyone
“It’s proven* that young people will feel
54% more comfortable in a household that talks openly about periods, so by following these steps, it can make the first period much less daunting”
Period Positivity
