Your Ultimate Guide to Paid Leave
Exactly How to Ask for Parental Leave, According to a Lawyer
Because yes, there is a right way to do it.
One in four moms are concerned about their job security after maternity leave, according to a recent What to Expect study. One of the best ways to protect your job? To ask for leave in the right way, says Daphne Delvaux, a trial attorney and workplace expert who specializes in helping moms navigate their workplace rights.
These are scripts you can follow to tell your boss about your news — complete with annotations from Delvaux about why certain phrases are especially important.
Choose your script. You are:
Pregnant
A non-birthing parent
Someone without rights to any leave
What to say if you’re pregnant
I have some exciting news to share with you: I’m pregnant! I’m currently [INSERT NUMBER] weeks along. I don’t anticipate needing any accommodations at this time, but I wanted to tell you on the earlier side to give as much notice as possible, and so that I can start working with you sooner rather than later to ensure that all of my projects and duties are delegated to other team members while I’m on leave.
What to say if you’re a non-birthing parent
What to say if you’re someone without rights to any leave
Pro tip
It’s a good idea to tell your boss as soon as you know you’re pregnant because there are laws that protect pregnant employees.
Pro tip
If you do need accommodations, be sure to reference the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act when requesting them.
Pro tip
Again, telling your employer about your pregnancy gives you protected status, legally speaking. It allows you to ask for medical time off if your symptoms get too hard to work through. And if something unfortunate happens and you miscarry, you'll be much less likely to get fired for taking time off (which does happen, believe it or not).
Pro tip
Make it clear that you're going to help come up with a coverage plan to set a collaborative tone. This makes your employer less likely to resent you — or retaliate against you.
Pro tip
This is key — make sure that you look into FMLA and also state laws, not just your employee handbook.
Pro tip
Use the actual statute names here — not something more general like "maternity leave laws" or "parental leave laws."
Pro tip
This helps emphasize that you did your research to help your employer, not antagonize them.
Pro tip
Make sure to do this, and BCC your personal account, in case you need a paper trail later to prove that you disclosed your pregnancy.
Pro tip
Make sure you're giving documentation to your employer, not just a third-party company they might use to administer your leave.
Pro tip
You want to rely on leave laws, first and foremost, and then your company's paid leave policy last, since it can change from when you announce your pregnancy to when you go on leave.
Pro tip
It’s a good idea to tell your boss as soon as you know your family is growing. That way, if you do happen to lose the baby for some reason, you'll be much less likely to get fired for taking time off (which does happen, believe it or not).
Pro tip
Make it clear that you're going to help come up with a coverage plan to set a collaborative tone. This makes your employer less likely to resent you — or retaliate against you.
Pro tip
This is key — make sure that you look into FMLA and also state laws, not just your employee handbook.
Pro tip
Use the actual statute names here — not something more general like "maternity leave" laws or "parental leave laws.
Pro tip
This helps emphasize that you did your research to help your employer, not antagonize them.
Pro tip
Make sure to do this, and BCC your personal account, in case you need a paper trail later.
Pro tip
Make sure you're giving documentation to your employer, not just a third-party company they might use to administer your leave.
Pro tip
You want to rely on leave laws, first and foremost, and then your company's paid leave policy last, since it can change from when you announce your growing family to when you go on leave.
Pro tip
It’s a good idea to tell your boss as soon as you know you’re pregnant because there are laws that protect pregnant employees.
Pro tip
If you do need accommodations, be sure to reference the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act when requesting them.
Pro tip
Again, telling your employer about your pregnancy gives you protected status, legally speaking. Also, if you do happen to miscarry, you'll be much less likely to get fired for taking time off (which does happen, believe it or not)
Pro tip
Add this if you are eligible for the PWFA, which applies to all employees who work for employers with 15 or more employees.
Pro tip
Make sure to list the benefit to your employer first. This helps emphasize that you did your research to help your employer, not antagonize them.
Pro tip
Make sure to do this, and BCC your personal account, in case you need a paper trail later to prove that you disclosed your pregnancy.
Sources
I have some exciting news to share with you: My family is growing! We’re expecting a baby, due to arrive [insert due date or adoption date]. I wanted to tell you on the earlier side because I plan on taking some family bonding time, so I wanted to give as much notice as possible. I’ll also begin working on a coverage plan for all of my projects and duties sooner rather than later to ensure they’re delegated to other team members while I’m on leave.
I have some exciting news to share with you: I’m pregnant! I’m currently [INSERT NUMBER] weeks along. I don’t anticipate needing any accommodations at this time, but I wanted to tell you on the earlier side to give as much notice as possible. I also wanted to discuss me potentially taking some time off to recover and bond with my baby after the birth.
by Robin Hilmantel