The Awkward Oscars Coloring Book
Sometimes the Oscars go off without a hitch. Sometimes they’re smoldering car wrecks. Before this year’s ceremony put your own spin on the show’s most strange and cringeworthy moments with a click of the mouse.
Words by Alyssa Mercante
Design by Tri Vo
Somebody gave poor Faye Dunaway the Best Actress envelope when what she needed was Best Picture. She read the movie title in the envelope, the wrong people spoke for two and half minutes, and eventually Moonlight got its due, immediately cancelling #OscarsSoWhite.
1. “Moonlight won Best Picture. This
is not a joke.”
Click on the blank
spaces to fill and keep clicking to change colors.
The unreasonably gorgeous and suspiciously clumsy Jennifer Lawrence “accidentally” tripped while walking up to accept her Oscar. The world swooned, of course.
We demanded an investigation.
While introducing performer Idina Menzel, words came out of his human husk, but what they meant…only Xenu knows.
3. Thetan Fails to Recognize Human Name
At first glance this is just a zany by-product of the Free to Be ‘70s—a streaker darts across the stage right before the Best Picture Oscar—but Richard Opel wasn’t just another mustachioed prankster. He was a gay rights activist who frequently showed up nude to city council events in protest. Now that’s radical.
4. Super Streak
Slip into a designer gown (like J.Lo’s iconic Grammy’s dress), drop some acid, go to the Oscars. If you’re the guys who depicted Kanye as a gay fish, just another Sunday night. The downside? Coming down from the acid during the endless “In Memorium” bit.
Oscar fashion is so often tame and yawn-worthy. Ball gown after tuxedo after silk wrap… wake us up when the Globes are on! But a few red carpet looks were so bizarre they almost make up for it.
6. The Swan.
2001, 1986, 2011
Stacey Dash is best known for both starring in Clueless and for genuine cluelessness. The black Fox pundit (who questioned Black History Month on a segment of Fox and Friends) was introduced by Chris Rock as the faux head of a new “minority outreach program.” Chrissy Teigen’s reaction was a #mood.
7. Stacey Dash “Celebrates” Black History Month
The squinty eyes, the unprovoked smirks, the blatant disregard for convention...guess that Pineapple Express stash lasted a while. All we can say is, Ms. Hathaway’s agent was not amused!
8. Anne Hathaway Hosts the Oscars with your Comatose College Roommate
After winning for Best Supporting Actor for his role in City Slickers, the 73-year-old promptly got down on stage and did one-arm pushups in front of a bemused Whoopi Goldberg.
9. Jack Palance Proves he's Old and Swole
We’d like to thank the Academy for some serendipitous seating arrangements, because Meryl and J.Lo reacting side-by-side to Patricia Arquette’s demands for equal pay (and rights) for women was squad goals.
10. yas queens!