A GUIDE TO
Gender Pronouns
LET'S GET USED TO SOME
Definitions
There’s a lot more to being any gender than just one's sex assigned at birth. Anatomy does not always tell a person's complete story. It's important to understand some different terms and ideas so that you can best respect others and their identities.
Sex is a label that's assigned at birth based on the genitals and chromosomes someone's born with. Most cultures then connect certain expectations to this label, which in turn impacts how we see our body and ourselves.
SEX
GENDER
People tend to use "sex" and "gender" interchangeably. While connected, they're not the same. Once sex is assigned, a child's gender is presumed. Gender is the complex interrelationship between a person's body, identity, and social environment. A person's comfort in their gender is related to how these three dimensions feel in harmony.
GENDER IDENTITY
Gender identity is our internal experience and naming of gender. It can correspond with or differ from assigned sex at birth. Understanding of gender may come early for some, while how we communicate it can change over time.
GENDER EXPRESSION
Gender expression is how you present your gender through clothing, behavior, lifestyle, and personal appearance. This interacts with society's expectations around gender.
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GENDER PRONOUNS
Preferred gender pronouns or personal gender pronouns refer to the set of pronouns that an individual prefers that others use in order to reflect that person's gender identity.
WHY DO GENDER PRONOUNS
Matter?
Some people’s assigned sex and gender identity are mostly congruent; these people are called cisgender or cis. Other people experience their gender identity as different from their assigned sex. These people may identify as transgender or trans or use other terms that fit (i.e. non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer). For them, finding congruence between body, identity, and social environment may be more complex because of society's expectations around sex and gender.
When people share their pronouns, they're potentially taking a risk in outing themselves by asking you to respect their identity. Below are some ways you can support them.
BELIEVE THEM
When someone tells you their pronouns or identities, use them! Don't argue or ask intrusive questions about their sex or body.
DON'T ASSUME
No matter how someone may look or act, you don't know their identities or pronouns until they tell you themselves. Use a person's name or "they/them" pronouns when you don't know how to refer to someone.
LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Share your own pronouns so that others feel comfortable to do so. Continue to reflect on the nuances of identity and where you place yourself within them!
LET'S REVIEW SOME
Examples
As part of an introduction or icebreaker at work, you can say “Tell us your name, your role, and if you’re comfortable, your gender pronouns”. You might hear gender-neutral pronouns like “they, them, theirs” – or some people prefer that you simply use their name.
In a one-on-one conversation, the best way to ask is with a straightforward: “What are your gender pronouns?” or “Can you remind me of which pronouns you like for yourself?”
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SHE
HE
HERS
HIS
THEY
THEIRS
EXAMPLE ONE
I saw Alex come into the office today and she seemed really happy. I wonder if it has anything to do with her weekend!
EXAMPLE TWO
I saw Alex come into the office today and he seemed really happy. I wonder if it has anything to do with his weekend!
EXAMPLE THREE
I saw Alex come into the office today and they seemed really happy. I wonder if it has anything to do with their weekend!
LET'S KEEP IT
Simple
If you realize you've misgendered someone in the moment, correct yourself. Apologize and restate the correct pronoun, as in, “Sorry, I meant she.”
If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on. In either case, don’t dwell on the mistake. It’s your job to remember and respect someone’s gender pronouns.
JUST ASK
You cannot tell someone's name or pronouns just by looking at them. If you're unsure, just ask! If you're uncomfortable asking, challenge yourself to use non-binary terms such as they/them.
SHOW RESPECT
If someone takes the time to let you know their name and pronoun, use it and respect it. It's not up to you to decide someone else's identity.
PRACTICE
If you have difficulty using someone's pronoun and name - practice. Ask co-workers, peers and friends to point out when you've made a mistake.
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Resources?
If you're interested in learning more, please check out the resources we've provided by clicking the buttons.
PRONOUNS MATTER
EMAIL & LINKEDIN
PRONOUNS IN THE
WORKPLACE
DON'T PRETEND
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
