THIS GOLF QUIZ
DEFIES THE INTERNET
The greatest golf writer of all time, Herbert Warren Wind, had an encyclopedic grasp of the game. Among countless feats, he coined the phrase “Amen Corner,” and for a number of years produced a very wordy annual “Golf Quiz” for Golf Digest. What would the late Wind ask about the modern game?
The following 10 questions are a mix of actual Wind bogglers and ones we made up.
If, in 1925, someone came up to you and asked you if you would like a jigger, you would have been perfectly right to reply ...
Thank you, no. As long as we have Prohibition, I will obey the law of the land.
If you have an extra one, I’d love to have it. I really do like clubs with small, shallow faces, and I think I might get better results with a jigger than with either my mid-mashie or my mashie-iron.
It’s very generous of you to offer me a handicap of two strokes out and two back, but I’d rather play you even, if you don’t mind.
I would indeed. I’m tired of buying packages of wood tees. I’d certainly like to try the new rubber tee from Australia that everyone’s talking about.
Jiggers were also wonderful to chip with.
Michelle Wie is renowned for having horrifying dreams. Which of these nightmares has she shared publicly?
A troop of flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz” are holding her captive in her hotel room. It ends with her playing Monopoly with them.
She’s in a shopping-cart race around the floor of a hotel, with a penalty of death if she loses. The doors to the rooms are open, revealing bathtubs filled with blood.
An evil clown is running after her, but she can’t get away because a giant squid is attached to her legs.
She’s playing a tournament in Korea, and each time she tries to retrieve her ball from the hole, a large cobra bites her repeatedly.
Wie has also had the more typical nightmare of trying to get to the first tee but being impeded by people blocking her way.
In three of the following four groups, each of the items named has something in common with the others. However, in one of the groups one of the items has no affinity whatsoever with its neighbors. Which group is that?
Phil Mickelson, Nick O’Hern, Ted Potter Jr., Bubba Watson
Pebble Beach, St. Andrews, Valhalla, Augusta, Winged Foot
Merion Golf Club, Los Angeles Country Club, National Golf Links of America, Royal County Down Golf Club, Royal Aberdeen Golf Club.
Danny Lee, Bryson DeChambeau, Edoardo Molinari, Ricky Barnes.
Winged Foot is out of place. Tiger Woods compiled his “Tiger Slam,” winning all four majors within 12 months, at the other four courses.
The golfers in A are all U.S. Amateur champions.
The courses in B have all hosted Walker Cups.
The golfers in D are all left-handed.
When a golfer refers to Hell’s Half Acre, he is obviously talking about:
The fantastic clubhouse at The Country Club in Brookline, Mass., which has been the scene of so many wild parties.
The dramatic corner of Augusta National where Rae’s Creek curls alongside the greens on the 11th and 12th holes. The Masters has often been won and lost here.
The vast stretch of sand, sprinkled with bushes and other impedimenta, that runs the width of what would normally be the fairway on the long seventh at Pine Valley.
The enormous double green on the Old Course at St. Andrews, which serves the fifth and 13th holes.
And you have to carry it with your second shot on this par-5 hole.
In 1977, he won the World Senior Championship for the second time. For years he was known as “the best foul-weather golfer in the world.” He is:
Christy O’Connor of Ireland
Bob Toski of the United States
Dai Rees of Wales
Roberto De Vicenzo of Argentina
Christy’s the boy.
TV announcer Gary McCord, in his early days as a struggling pro golfer, was so broke he actually resided in the following domicile:
In the trunk of his enormous Oldsmobile 98 sedan, in which he drilled holes for ventilation.
In a U-Lock-It storage facility, pulling the door of the garage-like structure closed each evening.
Maintenance sheds of tournament sites, once waking to find a rat nibbling on his sleeping bag.
Among members in a religious encampment, pretending he was a devout member.
When asked what living in the storage facility was like, McCord answered, “Dark. Very dark.”
Former University of Alabama golfer Justin Thomas, who helped the Crimson Tide team to the NCAA title in 2013, offered the following advice to all college golfers:
Freshman year, show up for the first day of practice with your face painted. The coach will think you’re nuts, but he’ll also recognize your commitment.
On the evening before you leave for a road trip, eat a
full clove of garlic and a can of chili. Your teammates in the team van will pretend to hate you the next morning, but they’ll love you even more for your creativity.
Make friends with the football and basketball players. If you find yourself in a bar confrontation, it’s nice to know a giant has your back.
Take classes from professors who play golf. It doesn’t mean at automatic “A,” but they’ll give you the benefit of doubt on term papers.
Thomas, threatened by a bully at a Frat party, was rescued by the 7-2 center of Alabama’s basketball team—and by the center’s imposing brother as well.
Only one of the following statements about the 1960 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, in Denver, is incorrect:
Jack Nicklaus, a mere lad of 20, actually took over the lead in the championship with six holes left to play.
Arnold Palmer’s exciting victory was due to his fantastic finish in which he birdied six of the last seven holes.
On the final day, Ben Hogan, making his last real bid for the title, hit the first 34 greens in regulation.
Jack Fleck was very much in the running until the last nine and finished in a tie for third.
Arnie birdied six of the first seven holes en route to a final round of 65 that won him the championship.
At the 2014 Ryder Cup, after Team USA’s 16½-11½ loss to the Europeans, Phil Mickelson publicly condemned captain Tom Watson’s leadership abilities.
A juicy note of context to the situation was ...
On Saturday, Mickelson was benched for a full day for the first time in his 10 Ryder Cups.
It was Mickelson who had advised teammate Hunter Mahan, who would be brought to tears by a chunked chip in Sunday singles, to grind the bounce off his lob wedge.
An earlier confrontation had occurred during a practice round when Watson insisted Mickelson hit a 5-iron off the tee at the 320-yard, par 4 14th.
Amy Mickelson’s proposed design for the team scarf had been rebuffed by Watson.
His buddy Keegan Bradley sat the whole day, too.
Tommy Armour was one of golf’s greatest teachers—and one of the greatest characters as well. For many years he gave his lessons ...
In Boca Raton, comfortably ensconced beside the practice tee in a canvas chair as he sipped a gin buck beneath a giant umbrella.
On the superb practice ground that serves the East and West Courses at Winged Foot.
On the old practice tee at Carnoustie, the course where he made his name by capturing the Open Championship.
In the plastic shelter he had specifically fabricated so that he could continue to work with his pupils in the rainy weather so frequent in New Orleans.
And in a very tall glass.
Somewhere up there, Herbert Warren Wind is smiling.
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