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To help loved ones prepare for the future

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To help a loved one prepare for the future

Ask Questions

older loved one may start with a simple talk. If you really want to help a parent, Grandma, or Uncle Stan, you have to go beyond small talk about the weather. A conversation about an older person’s care, health, housing, or finances may be just what they — and you — really need, experts say. “Awkward. Uncomfortable. But necessary,” says Vintrica Grant, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Stanislaus County, describing these conversations. “And I strongly recommend having these conversations early,” rather than waiting until there’s a crisis and the only response is to react, Grant says.

Improving the well-being of an

Conversation Starters

After you’ve talked about some basics, you can address more sensitive topics. Older people, particularly those with chronic health challenges, often think about their last days, Grant says, and many find relief in talking it out. “In general, we don’t talk as much about our mortality as we should,” she says. “It’s a difficult conversation to have, but unfortunately, as a clinician, I see daily the struggles that result when clients don’t plan or entrust someone with their plans.”

Consider the following questions:

More questions are available from Washington University in St. Louis. Although these conversations may be awkward to start, they often deepen bonds between those talking. And resolution can bring something priceless. “An incredible sense of relief comes from knowing everything is in order,” says Melinda Forstey, chief operating officer of Serving Seniors, a San Diego nonprofit. “That’s peace of mind — for themselves, for their children, and for their families.” Starting these conversations can strengthen your family connections while preparing for the future. California offers a variety of resources to help older adults and their families thrive, from meal deliveries to caregiving support. Connect online with the many resources available or call 800-510-2020 to learn more and give your loved ones the gift of peace of mind.

Older adult sitting down with his hand on his cane. His son's hands rest on top of his.

Older adult in wheel chair hugging his grand kids.

Start the Conversation

What should families discuss to help older loved ones prepare for their future? Start by asking about their routines and day-to-day tasks, then gradually transition to more sensitive topics like future care or finances. These conversations don’t have to be formal — they can simply be woven into the meaningful moments you share together.

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What kinds of meals do you enjoy cooking these days? Are there times when ready-made meals might make things easier? How are things at home? Is there anything I can help with, like organizing or running errands? How’s your routine for getting to appointments or seeing friends? Are you feeling good about driving, or do you prefer other ways to get around? Have you reviewed your financial documents recently? I’m happy to help you organize things if that would be useful. Do you feel comfortable with your monthly budget and how everything is managed?

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Have you met with an attorney to develop a will or a living trust to protect your assets? Do you have long-term care insurance or life insurance? Have you recorded your wishes related to an advance healthcare directive?