Coping with grief amidst unimaginable tragedy is something many of us are all too familiar with. In the wake of the devastating floods in the Texas Hill Country, we need to be reminded how integral our mental health is to our overall health. The mental health and chaplaincy staff at Harris Health offer some advice for anyone struggling with grief and the depression and anxiety that it may cause.
“The most important thing to realize is you’re not alone,” says Jerry McNamara, a chaplain at Harris Health Ben Taub Hospital. As a chaplain at one of Texas’s busiest Level I trauma centers, McNamara is there for people on the worst day of their lives. He’s seen the devastation grief can cause and learned that
Coping with Grief: Harris Health Urges Community Connection after Tragedy
By Ryann Swift on AUgust 1, 2025
SPONSORED BY Harris Health
Understanding how grief unfolds can help us better support those who are hurting. Grief is a complex emotion, says Asim Shah, MD, chief of psychiatry, Ben Taub Hospital and professor and executive vice chair, Baylor College of Medicine. Studying grief, Shah has found that the experience of grief is unlike any other emotion in its personalness.
“Everyone’s grief is unique unto themselves,” he says. “There’s no quantifiable scale for grief, no timeline. You can’t say on a scale of one to 10 how much grief you’re in, nor can you tell someone how long they will be grieving.”
Jerry McNamara, Chaplain, Harris Health Ben Taub Hospital
"Shared pain is a whole lot easier to bear
than pain by yourself."
Instead, he says, grief comes in stages. It begins with denial, the feeling that this tragedy can’t be happening to me. Denial quickly turns to anger and blame, Shah explains. “Why is this happening to me? Who’s to blame? The feeling that someone has to pay for the pain I’m in.” Anger and blame give way to the third stage of grief, bargaining—that sense that there was something you could have done to prevent the tragedy. When bargaining passes, the most severe stage of grief sets in: depression. The depression stage of grief can last days, weeks, even months. It isn’t until the final stage, acceptance, that a person can find peace.
The pain in the depression stage of grief can be so severe that it can disrupt your decision-making capability and your physical health. It’s in these circumstances that seeking professional help is crucial.
So how can we cope with grief in a healthy way, without turning to substance abuse? Nix emphasizes a few key strategies. “Recognize that with grief comes negative feelings like panic, despair, guilt and anxiety—and be okay with them.” Masking emotions delays healing. Instead, focus on self-care. Eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep. Stay attuned to the emotions of others while balancing your own mental health.
Helping others can also help one’s grief. Both Nix and McNamara point to volunteers after Hurricane Harvey helping with cleanup who have since gone to Kerr County in the Hill Country to help with the cleanup there. Grief counseling can also help—either one-on-one or in groups—because it helps you express your emotions rather than avoid them, Nix adds.
"There’s no quantifiable scale for grief, no timeline. You can’t say on a scale of one to 10 how much grief you’re in, nor can you tell someone how long they will be grieving."
often, the best thing he can do is sit and listen. “They say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe that. From my experience, it’s connecting with other people that helps us in recovery and healing.”
Feeling heard, safe and connected is a powerful salve for those who are grieving. When comforting someone who is grieving, McNamara says it’s important to not offer easy answers or Hallmark platitudes. Instead, stay in the moment, even if it’s uncomfortable, and share the person’s grief, whether that’s listening to their pain, or crying together.
Asim Shah, MD, Chief of Psychiatry, Ben Taub Hospital, Professor and Executive Vice Chair, Baylor College of Medicine
Bobby Nix, MD, Psychiatrist, Harris Health Lyndon B. Johnson Hospital and Associate Professor, McGovern Medical School at UTHealth Houston
Experiencing depression and anxiety without seeking help can lead to unhealthy behaviors, warns Bobby Nix, MD, psychiatrist, Harris Health Lyndon B. Johnson Hospital, and associate professor, McGovern Medical School at UTHealth Houston. “There is a connection between depression and anxiety and addiction use,” he says. “Traumatic events can cause this. Some people facing depression and anxiety caused by tragedy can turn to addictive substances like alcohol.”
Those with preexisting depression and anxiety need to be especially vigilant during tragic events. A study Shah conducted after Hurricane Harvey in 2017 found that patients predisposed to depression were most severely affected by grief when exposed to trauma.
Most importantly, Shah, Nix and McNamara emphasize the importance of community. If you’re hurting, connect with friends and family. Don’t be alone. If you know someone who is grieving, offer to be there for them. The simple act of listening can be profound for the bereaved.
“Take care of yourself and encourage others to do the same,” Nix reminds. “Community can make you feel safe even when everything else has been lost.”
For anyone suffering from a mental health struggle, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just need someone to talk to, crisis counselors are available at the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can call, text or chat with a counselor 24/7.
“We look for functionality,” Shah says. “Are you functioning the same way as before? Is your work suffering? Are you able to have the same level of relationships at home or at school? Are you able to enjoy the same things that you were able to enjoy before? A little fluctuation is okay because, of course, you're depressed or anxious, but if it's significantly decreased, that needs to be addressed by seeing somebody.”
Harris Health offers mental health and social services for those coping with grief, including onsite comfort offered by chaplains like McNamara, which many other hospitals no longer offer.
Coping with grief amidst unimaginable tragedy is something many of us are all too familiar with. In the wake of the devastating floods in the Texas Hill Country, we need to be reminded how integral our mental health is to our overall health. The mental health and chaplaincy staff at Harris Health offer some advice for anyone struggling with grief and the depression and anxiety that it may cause.
“The most important thing to realize is you’re not alone,” says Jerry McNamara, a chaplain at Harris Health Ben Taub Hospital. As a chaplain at one of Texas’s busiest Level I trauma centers, McNamara is there for people on the worst day of their lives. He’s seen the devastation grief can cause and learned that often, the best thing he can do is sit and listen. “They say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe that. From my experience, it’s connecting with other people that helps us in recovery and healing.”
Feeling heard, safe and connected is a powerful salve for those who are grieving. When comforting someone who is grieving, McNamara says it’s important to not offer easy answers or Hallmark platitudes. Instead, stay in the moment, even if it’s uncomfortable, and share the person’s grief, whether that’s listening to their pain, or crying together.