A different kind of cold one
Canned cocktails are having a moment. Here are some to try and some to avoid.
In a wild time where beer’s dominance of the alcoholic beverage industry has waned by the year, ready-to-drink cocktails have assumed their place in the boozy pantheon. The Chicago Tribune’s Josh
Neal tasted much of what’s out there,
and here are his thoughts on the ones
to savor — and the ones to avoid:
Pick a spirit
Tequila
Tequila
Rum
Rum
Vodka
Vodka
Gin
GIN
Bourbon
Bourbon
We adore our margaritas. By almost any metric, and
no matter who is tabulating, they are the nation’s most popular cocktail. And that popularity is reflected in their ready-to-drink dominance. Many of the companies wading into the RTD field offer a margarita. Those that don’t, like Chicago Distilling, have one in the works.
Last summer, esteemed Chicago taco joint Big
Star teamed up with also-local Apologue Liqueurs to put its margarita in 12-ounce cans. While Big Star Margarita (12% alcohol) may not quite replicate the joy of a fresh margarita at a bar, its combination of tequila and Apologue’s triple sec liqueur comes awfully close. There are none of the artificial flavors or overwhelming sweetness that doom so many margaritas, canned or not. It’s nicely dry, finishes with a limey bite and a pleasant boozy snap. Also recommended are two other Big Star RTDs added to the lineup this summer: Spicy Margarita (12%) and Paloma (6%).
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I’m not generally a mango margarita fan, but
Cutwater’s Mango Margarita (12.5%) is nicely balanced between robust fruitiness and a boozy hit in the finish. I prefer it to Cutwater’s basic margarita (12.5%), which isn’t egregious. But there are better options.
Tequila
Unfortunately, 88 East falters with its Mezrita
(8%), which aims for a smoky mezcal margarita. Th can promises “smoke and fire” and a “hint of spice,” but those flavors come across with an undercurrent veering strangely antiseptic. It’s a massive miss. Zing Zang’s margarita (9%) is the garden-variety American margarita in a can: too goopy and too sweet. Cutwater’s Paloma (7%) is also too sweet and false in its grapefruit flavor, with an unfortunate cotton candy note.
Tequila gets most of the spirit love in this
country, but don’t sleep on rum for a tropical
escape. The rise of Tiki bars is reflected in RTDs.
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I can’t fully disavow F!VE Drinks’ mojito (9%). It tastes perfectly fine. But an infusion of passion fruit lends a fruity burst that is not recognizable as what most people would probably expect from a mojito. In the case of On the Rocks’ mai tai, diverging from what’s expected works. Here, less so.
Cutwater’s Tiki Rum Mai Tai (12.5%)
is perfectly fine, though sweeter and
simpler than, say, the On the Rocks
take.
On the Rocks’ mai tai (20%) may not exactly be a
mai tai — it veers into pina colada territory — but it is unabashedly delicious, bursting with fruity tropicality (think pineapple, melon and banana) with a weighty rum underpinning. Another one to pour over ice; a little dilution helps.
I was excited for a cocktail from a box. Truly. But
Drake’s Organic Boxtails’ Minted Mojito (12%) is all sweetness, laced with a strange disinfectant-like flavor that makes it impossible to recommend.
The classic American spirit isn’t widely represented
in RTDs, which is a bit surprising considering
the Old-Fashioned and Manhattan are two essential classics. Nevertheless, there were some worthy candidates.
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Zing Zang’s Bourbon Whiskey Sour (9%) is exceedingly sweet, thanks to the “award-winning sweet and sour mix” championed on the can. But at least the sweetness rings true and doesn’t come with any off flavors. This likely makes for a welcome gateway to dark spirits for people often turned off by dark spirits.
On the Rocks Old-Fashioned (20%), made with Knob Creek bourbon, is close to what you’d get at any self-respecting bar: boozy and muscular with notes of maple, dark fruit and oak. If you’re noticing a trend with regard to the On the Rocks series, you’re right: It’s consistently good stuff.
In Crafthouse’s Gold Rush (14.9%), the honey and lemon are starring characters, creating a bright and accessible cocktail that hides its robust alcoholic content. The Crafthouse portfolio is also consistently impressive.
I thankfully encountered no irredeemable duds
among the bourbon RTD cocktails. But in another
couple of years, as RTDs no doubt continue to proliferate, I’ll check back.
Rum
Bourbon
Ah, gin. Elegant, wonderful
gin. Gin is often an ideal base for interesting and nuanced cocktails, and that’s true in the ready-to-drink realm, too. This is the most consistent crop of cocktails I tasted.
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F!VE Drinks blazes an interesting trail with its Summer Spritz (12.5%). It’s made with gin, elderflower cordial, cucumber bitters; and cucumber, lemon and grape juices. Summer Spritz bursts with cucumber — a refreshing summer-ready flavor — balanced by a hint of citrus and a light gin bite. It’s bright, interesting and goes down quite easy for the alcohol content.
Chicago Distilling’s Gin and Tonic
(10%) won best RTD cocktail from the American Distilling Institute in 2019, and I can see why. It’s boozy, but layered with a lingering botanical bite. The gin is probably delicious, but the secret, I suspect, lies in the house-made tonic, whose secret ingredient is wormwood, that same bracing and bitter herb prominent in Chicago’s beloved Malort.
Crafthouse comes through with yet another winner with its take on a Southside (13.8%). So does On the Rocks with its take on an aviation (20%).
Blueberry Gin Lemonade (9%) from Michigan’s New Holland Brewing is fun and summer ready, but also too sweet, too boozy and a touch artificial.
GIN
Many manufacturers dabble in Moscow mules,
but there is plenty beyond that, from a grape-and-ginger cocktail to bloody marys.
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Cutwater’s Moscow Mule (7%) is balanced and mellow, skewing sweet. Like much of the Cutwater line, it’s inoffensive and accessible. It would be fine to pull from a backyard cooler, but it’s hard to recommend further. Same for The Copper Can (10%), which offers a heavy (and welcome) jolt of lime offset by a cream soda note that results in more sweetness than other mules. Chicago Distilling’s Transfusion (10%) is built of grape, ginger and vodka. It’s a fun curveball.
There are plenty of RTD Moscow mules out there
— a blend of vodka, lime and ginger. Crafthouse Cocktails (10.1%) aces the mixture better than most: lime, ginger, and, most importantly, not too sweet.
88 East’s Watermelon Vodka (8%) really isn’t bad. It
tastes like a well-made (and not too sweet) liquefied watermelon Jolly Rancher. It is highly recommended to whoever wants to drink a liquefied (and not too sweet) watermelon Jolly Rancher.
Cardinal Spirits of Bloomington, Indiana, uses that neutral vodka base to excellent effect with its Bramble Mule (6.5%), a lovely blend of raspberry, ginger and hibiscus. It’s fruity but not sweet, a touch earthy, and shows a subtle spiciness.
Vodka