After the whistle

‘What if IT happenS in front of 80,000 people?’

“EVERY time I went to the loo it was blood rather than anything else.” There was plenty of blood shed on the field during Lewis ‘Mad Dog’ Moody’s international rugby career, but this was different.

“There’s something about being comfortable being vulnerable”

BOXOUT STLYE ONE HEADLINE TWO DECK

BOXOUT STYLE TWO

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The 45-year-old is able to open up today with a confidence that felt so alien two decades earlier. World Cup winner Moody, a 6ft 3in flanker from Leicester Tigers, was halfway through an international career at what should have been the peak of his powers when he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a bowel condition where the colon and rectum become inflamed. As well as blood in faeces, it can manifest in painful stomach cramps and the need for overly frequent trips to the bathroom. “It probably took a month or two to actually admit to my wife what was happening,” he explains. “Then she said: ‘You obviously need to speak to the doctor.’ “So I did, and he immediately diagnosed ulcerative colitis and said I would be on drugs for the rest of my life, there was no known cure, nor a known reason why it occurs. “Having already dealt with a litany of injuries over my career, that was something to deal with.” The last line is delivered with softly spoken understatement that reflects how Moody has made peace with the situation. He recalls the pre-season where, having knuckled down to fight his way back from injury, a severe flare-up of the condition meant he lost almost 10kg in just three weeks. It sapped the explosive power and all-energy game for which he’d been christened Mad Dog, and fondly described by teammate Ben Kay as “like a puppy chasing a stick down the M25”. Moody’s predicament had gone beyond embarrassment. It was the worst type of game-changer. “All the months of pre-season training had been blown away by this bout of colitis. I decided it was the right time to talk to someone about it,” he continues. “I needed to share it with someone because of the stress of worrying about missing a game. What if it happens in training? What if it happens in front of 80,000 people at Twickenham?!”

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Leicester Tigers’ forwards coach, John Wells, a former captain of the club, became a sounding board. He was the right man for the moment. “He is a brilliant character who always tells everything very straight,” Moody continues. “With Wellsy being so honest, I was more comfortable going to him than anyone else.” Even then Moody wasn’t quite prepared for the response. Wells immediately put his player at ease, sharing that he too was managing a bowel condition. “It just made me feel utter relief,” Moody adds. “Like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Not only have I now shared it when I was fearful, but the person I’m sharing it with knows what I’m going through. “It was a defining moment in my career.” For many people, bowl and bladder issues continue to be a highly private matter, and something they often find it difficult to talk about. However, early detection of problems and sharing the condition can help enable quicker intervention and many may be surprised how supportive friends and teammates will be. “There’s something about being comfortable being vulnerable, feeling like your teammates will have your back – and when you do open up about stuff you suddenly realise how supportive people can be.”

Moving forward, if Moody missed a players’ meeting or needed to dash out for what became known as an “emergency poo break”, it was never going to be an issue. That freedom helped alleviate the stress, which in turn helped symptoms subside. “For so long I was, wrongly, fearful of the players’ reactions,” Moody adds. “But whatever the environment you’re brought up in, your teammates or friends are generally very supportive. Share something with them and first off they are probably going to be concerned for you. “If you can get to the point where you can talk about it openly, or even joke about it, then it has become accepted.” If opening up was a watershed moment, there remains a tinge of regret that it didn’t come sooner. “I think there’s a degree of foolishness because I feel like if I’d addressed it and dealt with it earlier, I would have overcome it quicker,” he adds. “If I could tell myself anything, it’s that it’s OK to talk about your struggles, be comfortable sharing more quickly and don’t try and carry anything on your own because it’s only going to make it twice as hard.” Hindsight is unforgiving, though. When a teenage Moody was introduced to the macho world of the senior dressing room in the mid-Nineties, the type of conversation he eventually had with Wells a decade later felt unrealistic. “I suddenly realised I wasn’t the only one going through it and, once I shared it, I literally had people coming up to me in the street saying, ‘Lewis, thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been dealing with it too.’ “I felt really privileged to be in that position because I understand it’s not an easy thing to do, but when you do it, it’s like a weight off.”

WATCH … Lewis Moody talks to Alex Payne about battles on and off the pitch

Photos: Charlie Surbey

Defining moment: Lewis Moody, right, tells Alex Payne how talking about his bowel condition changed his life