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By Annalise Mantz

This Mom Explains Why

It’s OK to Just Trust Your Gut

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Of course, that doesn't mean it was all smooth sailing. "I have never experienced sleep deprivation like I did during the fourth trimester," Qassom says. She prioritized her well-being and her daughter's well-being over everything else, choosing to ignore piles of laundry and dishes if it meant she could take a nap. Through all of the bumps in the road, Qassom says she tried to remember that she was still learning — and give herself grace. "It’s going to be messy, chaotic, lonely at times, you’re going to feel like you lost yourself in the beginning and that’s all okay because a new, wiser, stronger, and more resilient human is forming," she says. Another concept Qassom had to come to terms with was her life as a single parent. "I always envisioned raising my child(ren) with a partner and it was a harsh reality when that was no longer the case," she says. "It took a lot of me letting go of what was, and embracing what is. After a lot of self-work, therapy, and healing I began to fall more in love with the unknown of my future than I was with my past."

parenting books to digital ads for "must-have" baby products, it's enough to overwhelm you — an experience Tabitha Qassom remembers well. The single mom and digital creator who lives in Los Angeles says she quickly realized advice could only take her so far — the real-life experience of becoming a mom taught her that listening to her instincts was more valuable than anything else. "I didn’t have a birth plan because I ultimately knew that I couldn’t control when the baby would arrive," she says. "I really just went into motherhood with open arms while listening to what felt right for me and my baby and tuned out the outside noise."

lmost as soon as you announce you're expecting a baby, the onslaught of advice starts. From well-meaning tips from family to the ubiquitous

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Qassom felt her maternal instincts kick in as soon as her daughter — who is now 5 — was born. "It somehow came naturally to me how to breastfeed, how to burp her, how to carry her. . . all the things as if I had done it before," she explains. "It made me more confident in my role as a mother and that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that time." She even learned to decipher which of her newborn daughter's cries meant she was hungry or tired or needed her diaper changed.

time they have together, stacking her work responsibilities on the days that her daughter is with her father. When that's not possible, Qassom tries not to beat herself up — but acknowledges that she's still a work in progress. "Mom guilt is a real thing and I still struggle with it and I’m sure I always will," she says.

"I really just went into motherhood with open arms while listening to what felt right for me and my baby and tuned out the outside noise."

The only certainty in parenting is you can't predict the next curveball life will throw at you. That's why it's so important to choose an insurance company like State Farm. A State Farm agent is ready to get to know you — so you can know someone is there to help protect your future by helping you choose the coverage you need. And with so many coverage options, you can feel good knowing you can find what fits for you, and your new family. Perhaps the biggest lesson Qassom has learned along the way is about staying present and appreciating all the good things in life. "Perfect doesn’t exist. I actually tell my daughter that," she says. "You have one life and your children are only little once. Don’t beat yourself up and cause yourself (and your kids) unnecessary stress to attain something that doesn’t even exist."

Although single parenting wasn't Qassom's plan, she says the experience has helped her grow as a mother and a person. "It has taught me that I am stronger than I could’ve ever imagined," she says. "It has also taught me patience and to not get too caught up in ‘the plan’ or the way something is ‘supposed to be’. . . because nine out of 10 times, the plans change and you can’t control it."

"You have one life and your children are only little once. Don’t beat yourself up."

oday, Qassom co-parents with her daughter's father. Since her daughter only lives with her half the time, Qassom tries to be intentional with the

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