It's become perfectly normal to invest time and energy into your skin-care routine, fitness routine, and all other kinds of self-care — but what about sex? Too often, sexual pleasure is still an afterthought. It's not on our busy to-do lists, so it doesn't seem like a priority. But once you realize how empowering it can be to take control of your own pleasure, your outlook might change.
The first step to having a great sexual experience — by yourself or with someone else — is getting into a sensual mood. Start by doing anything that will make you feel relaxed: maybe draw yourself a warm bubble bath, then light an aromatherapy candle and play some music to set the mood.
Set the
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Sexual fulfillment only happens when you're really getting what you need — and the best way to learn is by focusing on your pleasure. Schedule an hour for self-pleasure on your calendar every week to really make it a priority. Though it's often considered a taboo subject, there's nothing shameful about masturbation. Pleasing yourself is the best way to learn what you like — and what you need to get to
an orgasm.
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Tips for Feeling Sexually Fulfilled,
No Matter Your Relationship Status
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Knowing what you want sexually is only half the battle, though: you also need to feel confident expressing those desires when you're with a partner. If you're nervous about vocalizing your needs, practice when you're alone. It might seem a little silly to speak your desires out loud by yourself, but it will help you feel more comfortable eventually sharing them with a partner in person. You can also try talking about your desires over the phone. Owning your wants and needs will go a long way toward sexual empowerment.
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Next, make an effort to connect with your sexuality. It's not always easy to feel "sexy" — it's perfectly normal to feel awkward or embarrassed at first. Take some time to play around and discover what really makes you feel good. Put on some gorgeous lingerie, just to admire the beauty of your body, or compile a playlist of songs that feel sensual to you and sway your hips to the music. You could even listen to a steamy podcast or read some sexy stories online to get you in the mood and connect to what turns you on.
Experimentation is also a great way to find out what really turns you on. Do some research on different toys or props you might like to try. Spend time thinking about fantasies — is there a scenario you'd love to play out? Really getting in tune with your desires will help you have more satisfying sexual experiences.
Last but not least, make sure you have a birth control plan in place when you're getting hot and heavy with a partner. ANNOVERA® is a comfortable, long-lasting birth control that puts you in control. ANNOVERA® is a vaginal ring. You put it in and remove it yourself each cycle — it doesn't require any procedures and lasts for a full year. Plus, it's completely reversible, so you're always in control of your birth control choices. Knowing that you're protected from unplanned pregnancies provides so much peace of mind — and ultimately allows you to keep the focus on your pleasure.
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We've partnered with ANNOVERA® to encourage women everywhere to speak openly about their bodies, their health, and their sexuality. Information about ANNOVERA, including Important Risk Information and Boxed Warning, can be found at the end of the article.