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The ability to connect with anyone you meet is an invaluable life skill. Whether it’s with someone you’ve just met at a party or at a work function, connection is the lifeblood of all relationships. As a life coach, it is through connection I am able to help people from all walks of life — many of whom are different to me — to move through challenges.
We’re constantly meeting people in person and in the virtual world. The good news is, you can apply the same techniques to build connection, no matter the circumstances in which you meet. Here are my tips on how to form a connection with anyone you meet:
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7 Tips From A Life Coach On How To Connect Meaningfully With Anyone You Meet
Make an Effort to Stay Connected
Life is busy, we have so many commitments and deadlines these days. Authentic and meaningful connections are essential to our happiness and wellbeing and making time for people will lead to a greater quality of the relationships in your life.
Having Windows 11 in my life makes it easy to stay connected, since features like text, chat, voice, and video calls are accessible directly through the start bar, with just one click. I’ve found this particularly handy while working from home, because I’m able to access Teams conversations quickly and easily — chatting with colleagues and friends through the new chat function — and also use the snap feature to divide my screen into multiple programs at once.
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There’s a difference between hearing and listening. Giving the gift of real presence is crucial for building meaningful connections. Hearing is the act of perceiving sound, whereas listening is an active process that involves using all your senses to take on information. Being present involves triple-A listening: attitude, attention, and adjustment.
Attitude: Have an open mind and positive attitude. Everyone you meet has a different life story, there is always something you can learn!
Attention: Focus your efforts on concentrating on what they are actually saying. Listen to understand as opposed to waiting for your turn to speak.
Adjustment: Approach the conversation in a flexible manner, by being open to adapting to the conversation.
Be Present and Actively Listen
The power of learning someone’s name is not to be underestimated. As the American author, Dale Carnegie, says, “A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” A name is personal, so taking the time to learn someone else’s conveys respect and shows you care.
As a starting point, do a meet and repeat, which means you use someone’s name as soon as possible after they introduce themselves. From there, the key is to get as creative as possible. As an example, this could be creating a memory hook for their name, which is to associate someone’s name with a cue such as a visual (e.g. accessory or distinct facial feature) or sound (e.g. song). If you’re meeting someone virtually — perhaps a new work colleague in a training session — you could quickly activate your Windows 11 voice typing tool, so your computer will write down everything they say, and you won’t risk missing important information.
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What’s My Name?
People love talking about themselves, so when you ask someone questions, it shows that you are actively listening to what the other person has to say.
The best type of question is open ended, which enables back and forth conversation as opposed to closed questions, which may promptly end one. To deepen a connection is to dig deep beyond surface level topics like the weather and ask questions that touch someone’s inner world such as their hopes, dreams and thoughts. All of this helps to build rapport and establish a level of comfort.
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Ask Questions
It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. According to psychology professor, Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule, only seven percent of communication is through spoken word. He says, 93 percent of communication comes from non-verbal cues such as eye contact, body language, facial expressions, movement, and awareness.
Mirroring is a simple and effective tool to use when trying to build quick rapport with another person. To mirror is to repeat and reflect the other person’s volume, language, expressions, and tone. On a psychological level, this establishes a sense of safety and comfort quickly, in order to create a solid foundation for connection.
Taking the time to be perceptive on video calls and in virtual chats is a skill worth learning, as it can be more difficult to build a rapport when not speaking face-to-face.
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Conscious Communication
Whether meeting new people in-person or online (or a mix of the two), building meaningful connection is the lifeblood of successful relationships. If you’d like to learn more about how you can stay connected with Windows 11, head here for more information.
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Building a connection isn’t about talking about and proving yourself, it’s all about being interested in the other person. You can learn something from everyone and when you do, everyone becomes someone. In fact, we learn more when we learn together. By learning from another person, we build connection by making them feel valued and appreciated.
As author John Geiger says, “No relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones. Appreciate everyone that enters your life because they are contributing to your growth and happiness.”
Learn From Them
The power of learning someone’s name is not to be underestimated. As the American author, Dale Carnegie, says, “A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” A name is personal, so taking the time to learn someone else’s conveys respect and shows you care.
As a starting point, do a meet and repeat, which means you use someone’s name as soon as possible after they introduce themselves. From there, the key is to get as creative as possible. As an example, this could be creating a memory hook for their name, which is to associate someone’s name with a cue such as a visual (e.g. accessory or distinct facial feature) or sound (e.g. song). If you’re meeting someone virtually — perhaps a new work colleague in a training session — you could quickly activate your Windows 11 voice typing tool, so your computer will write down everything they say, and you won’t risk missing important information.
A convenient by-product of increasingly catching up with people virtually is that we can keep some notes handy on points you’d like to follow up on. With Windows 11, you can use the in-built snap layouts function to split your screen to have notes on one half of the screen and your Teams call on the other. The other person will never know you’re ticking off talking points during your call.
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Make Them Feel Important