Learn "Fight Club" rules
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Shea's 5 Tips to Improve Your Relationship With Someone Who Has PTSD
Every relationship is different, but Shea Hughes believes there are several lessons applicable to any relationship.
Fight but fight fair. Figure out what works for you and your partner. If Scott is able to leave the room for a bit, he’s willing to address a resolution when he returns. So now, instead of an argument lasting days, we resolve it in 15-20 minutes.
What do they like? What makes them nervous? Scott doesn’t like crowds, and he prefers to sit facing a door. So even now, I will sit with my back to the door so he can face it. Even though he’s changed a lot since we’ve grown through some of the challenges with PTSD, it is his preferred place.
Be aware of your partner and how he or she may react in certain situations. When you focus on each other – as opposed to, say, watching a movie and scrolling on your phone – you may be able to identify subtle changes that could indicate things are bubbling to the surface.
During Project Odysseys, couples are often challenged to try new things that may be uncomfortable for them. The objective is to help people process differently. Getting out of your comfort zone is hard, but that is where you grow and learn. For instance, Scott learned to kayak on a solo Odyssey. I had no desire to do it. There was nothing about it that I wanted to like. But I tried it. Now, we have our own kayak and take multiple trips to a local lake when the season is right.
We are not the same people we were 25 years ago. Everyone changes, whether through lived experiences in the military or otherwise. You need to decide if you will embrace your new normal and how to be most effective.
Learn your partner’s comfort zone
Be mindful of your partner
Try something different
Embrace the new normal
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During Project Odysseys, couples are often challenged to try new things that may be uncomfortable for them. The objective is to help people process differently. Getting out of your comfort zone is hard, but that is where you grow and learn. For instance, Scott learned to kayak on a solo Odyssey. I had no desire to do it. There was nothing about it that I wanted to like. But I tried it. Now, we have our own kayak and take multiple trips to a local lake when the season is right.